elephants and geography

Last night I went to bed fairly early, at 10pm. I currently live at my moms in a small town far from the city and I am constantly reminded by my guy friends that I am highly GU, geographically undesirable.
I am an extremely light sleeper and it just so happens that my room is directly underneath the kitchen and the floor is not insulated well. For some reason when someone (mom) is in the kitchen I can hear every noise. It sounds like she is having a party, or at least preparing for one. Its so loud in my room that even if I wear earplugs I can still hear everything crystal clear. I was laying there looking at the ceiling thinking, "I swear there are elephants up there".
In this inability to fall asleep, I got thinking about being Catholic. I remembered there was a bulletin on my floor from Mass on Sunday. So I was flipping through it and noticed on the advertiser section an add for "Catholic Match". Catholic match? My immediate thought was, "this is so weird". Why don't you just put "catholic" under any other religion section on any ordinary dating website? So in my curiosity, I went on their website, wondering if Catholic boys are any cuter or interesting than non-catholic boys. To my dismay, this website makes you create a profile. I hate filling out forms anyway, but I just HAVE to see these Catholic boys. So I fill it out, section by section. This takes forever. I mean, like 45 minutes, way too long for my curiosity, however I have already committed that far, I couldn't give up. And the questions are SO Catholic! I mean, it asks you 7 church doctrines you have to say if you agree with or not, it lists Saints you can choose as your "fave" saint, one section is all about if you use relics, icons, saints pictures etc. I am newly Catholic from protestant so I have NO idea what I am supposed to put and not being really committed to the idea of online dating, I put "rosary" mostly because its the only word I recognize. I continue to the end.
And you know what Catholic boys look EXACTLY like regular boys, except their profiles say things like, "Looking for a Catholic woman to share my life with soon! Could you be her?" Um, red light! Run! I mean as much as I want to date a guy with the same faith, that is a little overboard.
I disabled my "profile" which was not insightful about me. And I am officially on sabbatical because my close friends "advise" (insist) that I go off market. That guys is going to be SO disappointed. Kidding. Kind of.