You are having a ....marathon?

So, I have been thinking of this post for weeks now. Mostly because when I really realized what I realized, I wanted to say it immediately if not sooner. But, I got a new position with work, and new responsibilities and those...well those just sucked me in. In a good way.

So, about 5 months ago, I decided I was going to run a marathon. It was time I thought. I have been running consistently, I need a challenge, one day I am going to be 40, "oh crap! I found another gray hair!" kind of moments, etc. So after about 3 beers, I signed up. How does one go from thinking about it to signing up? Well, in my case...it was beer. I mean, lets be real people. Who in their right mind signs up for a 26.2 mile race, for the "challenge"? So, it was a Wednesday night, and while drinking said beers, I was feeling really gutsy and confident and all, "I can TOTALLY run a marathon! Where is that website to sign up?". I PAID to sign up. That's what's hilarious. I paid money to run 26.2 miles. Crazy realization #1.

One thing I wasn't prepared for in my marathon training is its ALL consuming. I swear its just like having an infant. What? Why would I say that? Listen, you can't do ANYTHING without thinking of your training. If you eat too early will you have energy for your run? If you sleep late you won't practice at running as the same time on race day. You can't stay up too late because you have to run in the AM. You can't have beer or vino because in an hour you run. ETc. you get it. Its like having a baby, I swear. And because of that I have realized another thing. Having a baby is all consuming=crazy realization #2.

There is another self realization I had during these last months. I have no self discipline, no determination, no competition. At all. None. I totally screwed up my training. Like, totally. I never would do my scheduled runs during the week. I slept in all the time, I ate all the wrong foods, I never did tempo runs etc. The only thing I did, was my long runs. I loved them. They were really hard, but I love them. They are 2-3 hours of just pure alone time. I have been training alone, which is probably why I have no self discipline because I have no accountability. But the long runs have been amazing.

The GOOD thing is, I did realize these things in myself. I was prepared mentally for the physical mirror, but instead I gained something so much more valuable and insightful. Something that carries to every aspect of my life and relationships. If I finish my marathon in my time estimation that will be a miracle and feel amazing. It will be nothing compared to what I feel I gained in my training.

See you out there. Maybe, I might be sleeping instead.

xxxxx

als

I have been sick all week. The kind of sick where you are so weak, reading hurts and exhausts you. I think I watched 12 movies over the course of the week. I missed 3 days of work, about 150 emails, of which I intermittently responded to, 2 parties, 3 dinner invitations and about 6 runs. Oh and a collapse of an authoritarian regime. All this exhaustion and bed time left me with lots of time to think and reflect on my life, where I am going and what do I want.

One thing I realized, I am much more like Bridget Jones than I care to admit. How? Well aside from being a single woman in her 30's, daughter from broken home, I have wonderful friends. Each night when I was sick they visited me, keeping me alive. One by one, making sure I was connected to them. Bringing me soup, conversation, laughter and company. I know that if I was stuck in a Thai prison, my friends would call Mark Darcy.

I also realized that there were some things in my life where "it's not good enough for me". It is okay, no, necessary to pursue the "whole" aspect of your life. And those things I take an active role in deciding and pursuing.

Love is such an active state. It can be felt, sure. But it grows and is cemented with actions.

The other thing I learned is there is no delivery for Pho near where I live. Are you kidding me? This is a travesty.

Thank you my friends and family for loving me well.

Much love,

A

HMV Poor AA

There are some things in life that either don't ever leave us or they take forever to get rid of them. You know, like that old intramural (fill in generic sport) college T shirt your spouse still wears. You hate it, you know you do. Maybe you ignore it when it hits the wash. Or the college loan you have to pay each month, that NEVER seems to be paid down because of interest. Or those last 5 lbs, that you can't ever run off. Maybe its a disease, or broken heart it seems to always be with you. I have something like that now, and no matter what I do, I can't seem to heal it, make it go away, or conquer it...yet.

Some other things in life don't leave us, for the opposite reason. You don't want it to. Love for instance is one of those things. We all need it, want it. To give it, to receive it. If given space, trust, honesty and grace it gets stronger and bigger. It can be the thing which sets you free, blessing you, and you in turn can love others.

It's those things in life, the ones that don't leave us, that seem to become more beautiful and rich over time. It can take forever for you to feel like you have it, but if you look at how far it has come or how much you have nurtured it, you could be surprised at the magnitude of its beauty. Sometimes the things that are always with us, the good things, can turn the hard or crippling things into strengths or cover them completely.

xxxx

Ali

PS. Love Each Other Well.

De-Friend

A couple months ago, before I went on my FB lenten journey, I was at 500 friends. I decided that was way too many and I went through and "de-friended" several names. I went down to almost 420 and felt rather good about my cuts. Recently I logged into my Facebook account and noticed I was at 497 "friends".

Seriously? 497? WAY too many for me again, looks like I need to do some natural selection.

It got me thinking about how many people I do indeed "know". How many have I just "met" that I think I will know. Or how many are just people that I played soccer with, attended college with, or happy hour? Do I really want these people in my life? Or do I really think its necessary to keep up a Facebook "relationship" with?

My answer, is no. If we don't talk, text, IM, blog, tweet or run...you aren't my friend. You and I don't "know" each other. We are not hanging out, networking, caring, laughing, praying or drinking. We are not in "relationship". Therefore, it was very pleasing to open my FB today and see that someone de-friended me. Thank you, number 498th friend who cut me.

I salute you.

Your Friend,

A

AAPT Looking...

Over the last few months I have really been contemplating moving out. I mean, I SHOULD move out. I live with my mom. (Thanks mom!) I am 33. Not only should I WANT to move out, I am sure mom wants a life of her own. There are major plus sides to living at home, it is really great. I think people should stay with their parents as long as possible if life at all allows it.

With that said, I have decided its time, and I went Apt looking today.

Things you need when you look for an apt. are as follows:

1) A friend- preferably one with A good sense of humor. And A set of major decent navigation skills.

2) Coffee

3) Phone

4) Some concept of where in the cuss you actually want to live

1) A friend. The friend part is VERY important. Friends help you determine if its a good location, they remember good questions to ask the manager should you forget, and if they are good at it, they entertain you.

2) Looking for apts can be tedious. Calling people, making appointments, asking the right questions...blah blah blah. You need coffee to keep you awake and alert. Plus, it just smells REALLY good.

3) Having a phone that can access the internet is vital. This way you can use awesome apps. Such as, Padmapper. Plus, you have to call the managers.

4)This one is tricky, I mean. I may THINK I know where I want to live, but then get there, and decide there is no way I want to live here, ever. The End. I die.

So today I called a guy about a basement apt I saw listed. Conversation on the phone:

Me: "hi I am calling regarding the apt for rent. Do you have time today to show it?"

LL: "yes, I can show it to you now. When do you want to move?"

Me: "in May, but no rush. Is there a deposit?"

LL: "yes there is, its $900."

Me: "$900? But the rent is only $675....

LL: "well, what do you think it should be?"

Me: "Well, most places are not requiring deposit or its $300-500."

LL: "Do you have a pet?"

Me: "no. but I want to get a small dog in the future"

LL: " Well, $300 for the pet deposit and $600 for the rent deposit."
Me: "um, thats still $900."

Apparently, he saw my math scores and thought he would see if I wasn't improved.

LL= idiot

Needless to say I did NOT rent that place.

A) It was in the basement. With a slope gravel entrance to the front door.

B) The bedroom was AQUA! no joke

C) The living room was yellow. (OMG I just threw up in my mouth.)

D) It smelled like basement. Literally.

Not sure where this adventure is going to take me.

But for now, cheers to major changes, In Ten!

xxx

AL

What took you the CUSS so long?

First off I need to apologize, mostly to myself and my sister that I have not posted a blog in FOREVER. Its been 8 weeks and to me that is a very long time. I wish I could say that I have all these hilarious things to write about but really most of them are ironic.

For instance this last weekend, I went to the most beautiful place on earth. (An absolute statement). You know it everybody, because you have read about it and envisioned it. OR, you went to the movies and saw it. Yes, I am talking about Forks, WA. As in the movie Twilight. I won't go into beautiful detail, but lets just say, its so far away from Seattle that the phone company which I subscribe to, says I was in Canada. THATS how far away it is. But it truly is majestic in all senses of the word. Beautiful lakes, the ocean, old growth forest with gigantic trees, hot springs and hiking trails

Anyway-I went on a early morning, like 10:45am, run and wanted to do some trails. My mom, was afraid I would see deer, or worse, bears! Me, not giving a cuss about bears, thinks its a great idea to head up a certain trail alone. I wanted something in an hour or so, and I chose to run up to the falls, across the river, and down another trail called "lovers lane". My first 3 miles up to the falls were so fun and beautiful. Wide trails, no rocks, lots fallen old growth trees to jump over etc. When I reached the top it was magnificent. So beautiful and refreshing with the mist from the falls sprinkling down everywhere. I crossed the river, and headed towards lovers lane.

Now, this trail started out wide, easy to navigate, clear path. Then a few feet in, it got confusing, which way do I go? There were 3 trails! I went with my gut and decided to follow the one that looked like it went along the river. So far, choose your own adventure is going OK! Yeah! Then as I keep going, I see the trail becoming much more narrow, and now it has rocks. Like, sharp slatey kind of rocks that make it impossible to run on, so I have to slow down. I keep going, more rocks. More narrow trail, wait a second, it diverges again! Which to choose, again I go with common sense. It works! Thank the Lord or I would be up cuss creek. I end up going farther along, and it dawns on me! I know exactly why this piece of cuss trail is called "Lovers Lane"! Its all rocky, hard to find your footing, muddy, and diverges all the time and you have "figure out" which way to go!! Much like "some" peoples love lives. ;)

I still choose love.

xxxxx

AA

Friends rock

Recently I posted about going to hospital for a surgery. What I didn't talk about was how great friends are when you go through something like that.

I have a long, long time friend who is SO busy. She was so sweet to drive me to hospital on the morning of my surgery and this lovely lady has 4 kids under the age of 4. Are you kidding me? I am so proud of her. She also prayed for me in the car before I went in, which was so nice as I was a "tiny" bit anxious about the experience. So she dropped me off and without missing a beat, my friend DJ showed up to distract me and make me laugh while I waited for pre-op and then waited longer with me before I rolled under the knife.

It is funny how people come into your life at just the right time. DJ had offered to come to the hospital with me and I thought, "oh no thats so boring you would hate it!". But instead I said, "sure!". Why? I don't know , but I am so thankful I did. I needed a DJ there. Now DJ and I have known each other on paper since kindergarten or 3rd grade we aren't sure which it is. Mostly because neither of us can remember that far back, actually thats not true, we both remember. We just do not remember each other. We did not have our first class officially together until 3rd grade. A lot happened that year in 3rd grade, BTW. We read "Where the Red Fern Grows", learned about Jewish holidays, DJ stuck his finger in a pencil sharpener and bled everywhere and then fainted (wuss) and my mom made me cut my hair, (still traumatized by that FYI)- but that is another post.

But the coolest thing about having a friend like DJ, is, he gets it. He spent the good part of his 20's making a lot of decisions that created a difficult life. So, suffering is something he knows a thing or two about. He has since changed his life and made better decisions, and so when I talk to him, I trust him. When you have someone in your life that you can absolutely be vulnerable with and honest with amazing things can happen to you. DJ is a person that you know will be there if you are so happy, or if you had the worst news, but he is also someone that can just, be. I also trust him because he pursues himself. He is constantly asking why, how or how to. That is so cool because you actually see him change. Right when I thought people don't change at all, I was wrong. Which is good! People like this are WAY contagious and they will indeed influence change in your own life too.

Friends are blessings...be one too.